In Memory, In Community: Honoring Pregnancy Loss Month and the Wave of Light

October is often known for fall colors, pumpkins, and preparation for the holidays—but for many families, October is something far more sacred. It is a month of remembrance. A month of honoring lives that ended far too soon. A month for breaking silence and holding space for those navigating one of the hardest forms of grief: the loss of a pregnancy or infant.

At Birchwood Therapeutic Services, we believe that no one should have to grieve alone—and that every form of loss deserves recognition, support, and healing. That’s why we want to take a moment to acknowledge the significance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and invite you to join us in the Wave of Light on October 15th at 7 p.m. local time—an annual event where candles are lit around the world to honor the lives of babies gone too soon. You can learn more about this global remembrance movement at babyloss-awareness.org/wave-of-light.

Throughout this blog, we’ll explore:

• Why this month matters for families and communities

• The emotional and mental toll of pregnancy and infant loss

• How mental health counseling, behavioral therapy, and therapeutic services can help

• What support looks like for individuals, couples, and families after miscarriage or infant loss

• How we walk alongside clients seeking mental health support in Minnesota and therapeutic services in North Dakota

Why Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Matters

A Hidden Grief That Deserves to Be Seen

Pregnancy loss is incredibly common—yet it remains one of the most silent and misunderstood types of grief. Miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death often happen behind closed doors. And because these experiences are rarely talked about openly, grieving parents may feel isolated, invisible, or even ashamed.

While some losses happen in the early weeks of pregnancy, others occur later or shortly after birth. Each one carries the weight of love, hopes, and dreams that were suddenly interrupted. Whether it was a first pregnancy or one of many, the emotional toll can be staggering.

October offers a powerful reminder: these losses matter. The grief is real. And there is space for healing, even when the world doesn’t seem to understand.

What Is the Wave of Light?

The Wave of Light is a simple yet profound way to honor and remember babies who were lost during pregnancy or infancy. At 7:00 p.m. local time on October 15th, individuals and families around the globe light a candle and let it burn for one hour. As time zones progress, a literal wave of light moves around the world, symbolizing shared grief, remembrance, and connection.

For many, participating in the Wave of Light becomes an annual ritual—a moment to pause, to speak a name, to reflect, and to feel seen. It’s an opportunity for parents to say, “My child existed. My child is remembered.”

This quiet act of remembrance invites everyone—parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, and communities—to acknowledge loss and extend compassion.

The Emotional Impact of Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death

Losing a baby is not only heartbreaking—it is life-altering. For many parents, miscarriage or infant loss marks a before and after in their life story. The grief is not just emotional. It affects every part of a person’s mental, physical, and relational well-being.

Here’s what that grief might look like:

1. Deep, Persistent Sadness

Even when the loss happened weeks, months, or years ago, the sadness can remain close to the surface. Anniversaries, holidays, and due dates can trigger waves of emotion that feel just as raw as the day of the loss.

2. Guilt and Self-Blame

Parents often question themselves—wondering what they did wrong, or whether something they missed caused the loss. These thoughts can spiral into shame, even when the loss was completely out of their control.

3. Anxiety and Hypervigilance

After a loss, it’s common to feel unsafe or on edge. For those who become pregnant again, this anxiety may increase. Every cramp, every appointment, every moment can feel like a threat.

4. Disconnection From Others

Friends and family may mean well, but sometimes their words (“Everything happens for a reason,” “You can try again,” “At least it was early”) only deepen the pain. Parents may withdraw or feel misunderstood, even by people they love.

5. Relationship Strain

Couples grieve differently. One partner might need to talk, while the other shuts down. One might want to try again, while the other isn't ready. Misaligned grief can create distance, tension, and resentment.

6. Physical Symptoms

Grief shows up in the body: disrupted sleep, headaches, fatigue, hormonal imbalances, loss of appetite, or a general sense of feeling unwell.

That’s why healing from pregnancy loss isn’t just about “moving on.” It’s about receiving the kind of mental health support that helps people process, integrate, and rebuild after heartbreak.

How Mental Health Counseling Supports Healing

You don’t have to navigate this grief alone. Working with a trained therapist can help you make sense of your emotions, move through trauma, and reconnect with your life in meaningful ways. At Birchwood, we offer a wide range of therapeutic services designed to meet individuals and families where they are.

Here’s how therapy can support those facing infant loss or miscarriage:

A Safe Space to Grieve

You don’t have to put on a brave face. You don’t have to explain or justify your tears. Therapy offers a space where you can say things you’ve never said out loud—and be met with compassion instead of judgment.

Trauma-Informed Approaches

For many, miscarriage or infant loss is traumatic. Whether the experience involved emergency procedures, medical complications, or emotional shock, trauma can linger. Our behavioral therapy and trauma-trained clinicians help clients process those moments in a safe, controlled way.

Navigating Anxiety and Depression

When grief leads to anxiety, depression, or panic attacks, therapy offers tools to manage these symptoms. Through cognitive-behavioral therapy, grounding techniques, mindfulness practices, and emotional regulation, clients can begin to feel more stable and in control.

Rebuilding Relationships

We offer couples counseling to help partners reconnect after a shared loss. Together, couples can explore grief styles, strengthen communication, and find new ways to support each other.

Holding Space for the Next Chapter

For clients considering pregnancy again, therapy becomes a powerful space to explore fears, set boundaries with others, and reclaim hope. We help clients hold both joy and fear, excitement and grief, as they move forward.

Birchwood’s Approach to Pregnancy and Infant Loss

At Birchwood Therapeutic Services, we understand how fragile life feels after a loss. And we also understand that grief is not something to fix—but something to honor and move through with support.

We provide mental health counseling and behavioral therapy to individuals, couples, and families facing pregnancy or infant loss, serving both Minnesota and North Dakota communities with deep care and clinical excellence.

Here’s what you can expect when working with us:

• Licensed, compassionate therapists who specialize in grief, trauma, and perinatal mental health

• A respectful, judgment-free environment—no matter where you are in your healing journey

• A flexible approach that honors each individual’s beliefs, family dynamics, and goals

• The option to work with a therapist who understands the unique complexities of miscarriage, infertility, and infant death

• Support for related mental health struggles, including depression, anxiety, trauma, and postpartum issues

  
  

If you’re seeking mental health support in Minnesota or therapeutic services in North Dakota, we’re here to help you move at your own pace—and offer a steady presence as you find your way through grief.

What Support Might Look Like

Every journey through loss is different. For some, therapy becomes a lifeline. For others, it’s one part of a broader healing process that includes journaling, support groups, spirituality, bodywork, or creative expression.

Here are some forms of support that we often recommend or facilitate:

• Individual therapy for one-on-one grief processing

• Couples counseling to navigate loss together

• EMDR or trauma therapy for those with traumatic memories

• Parenting support for those navigating grief while caring for living children

• Referrals to perinatal support groups or loss-specific peer communities

• Letters or rituals of remembrance to honor the baby’s memory

• Pregnancy-after-loss counseling to process emotions during future pregnancies

  
  

You are not expected to “bounce back.” Healing from pregnancy loss is not linear. It is tender, vulnerable, and deeply human. We’re here to walk with you every step of the way.

How You Can Support Someone Going Through Loss

If you’ve never experienced this kind of grief, it can be hard to know what to say or do. But your presence matters more than you think.

Here are a few ways you can support someone grieving a miscarriage or infant loss:

• Say their baby’s name (if known). It’s okay. It won’t make them sad—it shows you remember.

• Avoid clichés like “at least…” or “you can try again.” Just say: “I’m so sorry. I’m here.”

• Offer tangible support—meals, errands, rides, or childcare.

• Remember anniversaries, due dates, and milestones. Mark them in your calendar and reach out.

• Encourage therapy or professional help when needed. Let them know they don’t have to grieve alone.

• Join them in lighting a candle on October 15th, and tell them you’re thinking of their child.

  
  

Compassion is not about having the perfect words. It’s about showing up and being a safe place.

A Final Word for October

To every parent who has lost a pregnancy or a baby: we see you. Your grief matters. Your child matters.

Whether your loss happened recently or years ago—whether it was your first or your fifth—whether it was known only to you or shared with many—please know that you are not alone.

At Birchwood, we are honored to offer therapeutic services, grounded in warmth, respect, and healing. We believe in grief that’s honored, not rushed. In support that’s personal, not prescriptive. And in the incredible strength it takes to keep going after such deep loss.